Don't do this, wives

I used to think the movie "The Three Amigos" could provide a plethora of quotes for every day situations & was discussing my relatively well-thought-out theory this with some of Kieran's workmates at his office Christmas party last week. (Thankfully they'd been drinking all day so this probably seemed a perfectly natural discussion at this point in the evening, even if I was completely sober).

Collegue 1: So what would be a good quote for right now in this bar?

Me: in a bar?! too easy!! "looks like someone's been down here with the ugly stick"

However, even The Three Amigos takes a serious back seat to the quotes available in Kieran's Secret Santa present; the recently republished Don'ts for Wives & Don'ts for Husbands from 1913. We spent several jolly minutes on the weekend reading classic snippets to each other. These include such gems as;

For wives:

"Don't be satisfied to let your husband work overtime to earn money for frocks for you. Manage with fewer frocks" (To be honest, I've hardly got any frocks)

and

"Don't despise the domestic potato. There are a hundred appetising ways of cooking it...The boiled potato is the rock on which many a happy home barque has been founded" (one close to my Irish heart)

For husbands:

"Don't shout when you are angry. It isn't necessary to let the children or the servants know all about it" (You'd have to shout very loud for our servants/ children to hear seeing as though we don't have any) and

"Don't let your wife become merely a domestic machine. If she doesn't want to broaden her horizon, see that you do it for her" (but I can't do the cryptic crosswords Kieran does :()

Speaking of Kieran, he is a bit poorly at the moment what with his cold & ear infection. He doesn't get sick very often, but when he does I'm reminded of this great sketch about the man cold. Very funny. (This sketch, not Kieran's cold)

Between Kieran's coughing, (bless 'em) and a multi-vitamin taken too late in the evening, I'm now wide awake at 1 in the morning typing up tips for wives & husbands. 'Tis a sad state of affairs. I worry about tomorrow.

1. I'll be tired with red eyes from lack of sleep & staring at the computer screen

2. I have to walk 23 highly excited Year 7s down to St Margaret's next to Westminster Abbey for our school's carol service

3. I went to Body Pump class with Andy this evening (yep, was as scary as it sounds, there was a lifting of weights to music involved). And I'm really feeling it now...So what sorrystate will I be in tomorrow? Will I even be able to use my arms & legs? And if not, how will I walk those kids down to the chapel?

4. And to top it all off I'll need some energy left by tomorrow night when we go and see the Pogues in their Christmas concert!! Watch the 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8, 1,2,3, 1,2,3 step from primary school get a dusting off & a working out tomorrow evening.
Those Tuesday afternoon Irish dancing classes were not wasted, I tell you.

Maybe I'd better go get some sleep afterall